Our Mama Doll is Gone…

My mom died yesterday. I can’t believe that I just typed that.

To me she was mom.

To you, she was Ms. Edna, Mama Doll’s Mama Doll. An iconic yet ironic fixture in The Black Doll Affair, she was known for her lack of filter, being both appropriate and inappropriate. Perhaps my Mama was the original creator of the phrase "zero #!@X to give." Hurt by life, she was a good-hearted woman that loved to free her burdens by dancing. In the early days of The Black Doll Affair, before age limited her physical activities, she could often be found dancing to disco music—her favorite was Marvin Gaye’s ‘Got to Give it Up’. She was infamous for pushing her dating advice on us or serving up her famous fried chicken, which we would bum-rush a Doll over. If you were Lisa and Lauren, you might even hide pieces from the rest of us at my annual Pretty…Philanthropic Potluck Picnics on the Chattahoochee River.

To me, she was simply Mom—the first person to tell me that MY Black is beautiful, advise me that I should make sure a man treats me like a DOLL not a dog, to dream big, and to know that I’m worthy of having it all.

As my fate would have it, in the 1940s, married psychologists Kenneth and Mamie Clark conducted the first Doll Test experiments that would gauge the self-worth of Black children during segregation. As we now know, the Doll Tests paved the way for the work of The Black Dolls.

As her fate would have it, mom was born in 1947 to Mr. & Mrs. Levi Ceiphas. The second of four light caramel "colored" little girls, she was the darkest of her sisters. This added to her struggles—her dark skin was not only a target of racism among whites but also a source of colorism within the Black community. When she went to play at a neighbor's home, he took advantage of her innocence. Whenever she went to drink water in public, she had to use the "COLORED ONLY" water fountain. But, that didn’t stop her will to go on.

That didn’t stop her from falling in love with our father, Hal Hill—one of the tallest, darkest, and most handsome bachelors in town. After a short courtship, my mom and dad married, despite the gossip about Hal’s choice. As dark-skinned as he was, some were concerned that Mom wasn’t light enough to have the 'pretty babies' he could have had with a lighter-skinned woman. By the way, Porcelain Dolls, this internal conflict within the Black community is known as colorism. Now, back to my story. They didn’t discourage Mom from having kids with Dad—even though they warned that he was even “blacker” than her. My parents gave life to four dark chocolate girls—Sherri, Velicia, Dana, & Christy—in that order. They didn’t stop her from instilling in us from birth that, while people might tease us for being dark-skinned, the skin we were born in was dark and lovely.

As tots, Mom instilled in her four dark-skinned little girls what might be better described as a daily mantra: “Don’t let them tell you that you can’t do something because you’re dark-skinned. When they tease you for being ‘so black,’ remember that the skin you’re in is worthy. Your self-esteem is just that—yours. Don’t let them have it.” At first, we didn’t understand who “them” were that she was preparing us to war with. Eventually, we understood. They were the adults—teachers, family members, schoolteachers, and church preachers—who would giggle about her four girls’ dark skin or utter that they were ‘pretty to be so black.’ Knowing how she had been teased for her dark skin, my mom would say to each of us, regularly, “You are dark and you are just as good as anyone lighter than you.” Mom’s 'Black is beautiful' message was as prevalent in our home as her blaring disco tunes. We didn’t know it then, but it was more than a mantra. It was an unstoppable lifestyle.

When Mom and Dad divorced, she balanced working at Exxon with a newspaper delivery route. I will never forget those early mornings, waking up with my mama and sisters, rolling newspapers to throw into our neighbors' yards before sunrise. To this day, I remember the song "Street Life" by Randy Crawford playing as we rolled the papers—Sundays truly hit different. If you know, you know.

While juggling two jobs, Mom also found time to enjoy life with her bestie, Christine Union—now an Honorary Black Doll of The Black Doll Affair and Gabrielle’s stepmom. When she wasn't hitting the clubs with "Chris," Mom would load her four girls into her brand-new Monte Carlo for tours of dream homes and open houses in neighborhoods that inspired us to dream big. She always reminded us, "We’re going to live like this one day. We are worthy!" We believed her.

Her belief turned into reality when she met her new husband, an Exxon engineer. Like George & Weezy (The Jeffersons sitcom), we moved out of the hood to a swanky neighborhood in Edmond, Oklahoma. Not long after, we relocated to Houston, Texas, during the oil boom, into a neighborhood where the homes were nothing short of estates. Our new estate, just down the street from Farrah Fawcett’s mom’s estate, was spacious enough for Mom’s four girls, my stepdad Frank’s two kids, Tanya and Tre, and the newest addition, my brother Steven.

Mom taught me that dreams do come true—if you believe.

They couldn’t stop her. Mom became one of the first Black secretaries hired at Exxon Oil Company. They couldn’t keep her from becoming President of the Urban League Guild in OKC. They couldn’t prevent her oldest and tallest daughter, Sherri, from modeling in the iconic Ebony Fashion Fair Show when it came to Oklahoma City. They couldn’t stop her from becoming an entrepreneur and creating Lady of Colors, a highly successful nail salon that employed a team of formidable women—including me. None of these challenges stopped her from dreaming and achieving...

Yesterday, my mom, your Ms. Edna, passed away. Death has stopped her.

Overwhelmingly, after learning of Mom’s passing, many of you have reached out via the Doll Phone asking where to send flowers. We thank you and truly appreciate your kindness. At this point, we kindly request that instead of sending more flowers, please consider making a donation to The Black Doll Affair. The movement I created, but she "started" before I was born—back when fountains weren’t for her, her dark skin didn’t pass the brown bag test, and dreaming wasn’t meant for girls like us.

Your "Mama Doll" founded The Black Doll Affair. My mama doll inspired it.

Hal & Edna’s orphan,

Dana